Day 8. Defeat.

Marcus walked without a destination in mind and ended up at the end of a corridor looking out a window without seeing what was there. He wasn’t missing much, the window over looked the VA hospital car-park.

A loud voice was yelling in his brain about how he had been betrayed by Royal, by Carrie whatever the hell her last name was. But finally the voice ran out of insults and became quite. Another voice in the back of his mind spoke quietly, so quietly he missed it at first. It spoke again a little louder.

“How did she betray you?”

The louder voice huffed and started in again on how she was not just a girl in a bar, that she was a stinking prostitute. The soft voice waited until it was done before speaking again.

“Did she charge you for the night?”

“No, but…”

“Did she cut out after an hour or so?”

No, she stayed all night.”

“Did she claim to be an innocent?”

“No.”

“Did she rob you blind while you slept?”

“No.”

“Did she make you pay for the room?”

“No.”

“And when you asked for some photos, she willing posed for you, and gave you way more than you were expecting. Did she ask for anything in return for that?”

“No.”

“So, you went to a bar and picked her up, you told her you wanted one last night to remember before you were deployed. Told her that there would be no possibility of any kind of ongoing relationship. She went with you and not only didn’t she charge you for her time, she paid her hard earned money to cover the room. Is this true?”

“Yes.” The loud voice was quieter now and not so belligerent.

“So tell me again how it is that she betrayed you?”

“CRAP!” the word was yelled out loud and echoed down the empty hallway.

“You gave her nothing but a good time and your seed. She gave you one of the best nights you can ever remember, and don’t forget all those nights since when you got off to her photos and the message in that note. And she asked you for nothing in return.”

All was silent and still for a few beats, then Marcus turned and headed briskly back to his room hoping to beat the cleaners who came round daily.

The room was empty when he entered, his roommate must have gone to one of the many physio appointments they all attended, or maybe it was a group therapy session. He made his way over to the waste bin and looked down into it.

Empty.

Moving over to his bed he flopped down on his back and covered his eyes with his one good arm not bothering to try and stop the tears that began to run down the sides of his face. This was how it felt to be truly defeated.

~#~